Word: tan
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...bring a bunch of swimming suits. One is okay, but you'll find that Cambridge is not exactly Tahiti. Resign yourself to the fact that you will never be as tan as your best friend who attends that prestigious university on the West Coast. Ditto for the sunblock and the beach umbrella...
Jeans have roguish past. They are signifiers of untamed wilderness and rebellious vigor. Tan pants put you in mind of, well, the Ivy League. How exciting is that? It's really east coast WASPs versus the melting pot of the other 45 states. It's downright un-American not to worship the frontier...
Many Harvardians wear tan pants in place of blue-jeans. They get dirty in khakis. They wear them on dorm crew. Khakis infringe on the fashion space reserved for jeans, which is and unforgivable trespass...
...most offensive quality of tan pants is their timelessness. Look at those pictures of your grandfather at Harvard. (If you love chinos, either your granddad went here or you are preparing to be a Harvard grandfather.) He has a welltrimmed haircut and no beard. He looks like you, only in sepia. Nothing has changed in the last 60years. And if you have your way, nothing will...
...Tan pants are the fashion choice of stagnation. The emblem of conservatism. They supplant democratic jeans. The masses of the Culturally Mediocre should know that Miles might have worn khakis, but he didn't realize what they represent. He should have found himself a comfy pair of 50Is...