Word: tarzans
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...just because she looks nice in front of a camera doesn't mean she can act. She can't. Tarzan, the Ape Man. John Derek's latest Let's-Look-at-My-Wife offering, makes this painfully clear. To call her a bad actress is to make a gross understatement. Unlike "10," which asked only that Bo slink around a beach and look pretty--of which she is eminently capable--Tarzan demands that she exhibit a wide range of emotions, and that's where she fails miserably. When she is supposed to be frightened, she squeals: when she should laugh...
...TARZAN, THE APE MAN Directed by John Derek Screenplay by Tom Rowe and Gary Goddard...
...producer and star, and her husband John, as director and cinematographer, have basted together a new Tarzan, which the descendants of Author Edgar Rice Burroughs tried futilely to suppress. The story is familiar and faithful: Jane Parker (Bo) and her great white hunter father (Richard Harris) trek through the jungle and find the Ape Man (Miles O'Keeffe). But the plot is so much crinoline for Bo to shuck before cavorting au naturel with Tarzan or monkeying around with wildlife...
...wallow in me!" trumpets Harris, and he does indeed: he wades hippo-deep through the rank mud of his loopy monologues. The generously muscled O'Keeffe utters not an intelligible word-only Tarzan's patented bull-elephant yodel. As for Bo's acting, she sucks in her stomach to look pretty and chews her cuticles to suggest fear. Alas, all the displays of Bo's body cannot divert attention from the ludicrous ineptness of the enterprise. Nothing breaks a tumid erotic spell faster than giggling...
...seems the Pontiff will be denied that opportunity. And generations of aging boys, who recall Maureen O'Sullivan's nude swimming scene in the 1934 Tarzan and His Mate, will be forced to make do with a little Bo peek. Meanwhile Hollywood is happy to have another scandale on its hands. "Well, well, well," drawled one director working on the MGM lot, " Junglegate.'' -By Richard Corliss. Reported by Dean Brelis/New York and Elaine Dutka/Los Angeles