Word: tequilas
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Perhaps that's why we were puzzled to see that the Crimson, self-proclaimed champion of women's rights, had been running a rather interesting tequila advertisement. It pictures a semi-dressed buxom blonde with her tongue hanging out, and proclaims: "You'll Love My Dos Gusanos!" "Dos what?" we thought, but were informed (in small print) that dos gusanos means "two worms." How silly...
...rate the ad is, no doubt, sexist. We're not supposed to like the ad or buy the tequila because of the woman's strong character or interesting personality, but because she arouses the prurient interests that lurk beneath nearly every male's soul. To run this ad is arguably worse than allowing Playboy to advertise, for the Crimson is not just indirectly promoting sexism, it's activley displaying it for anyone willing to pay twenty cents. Therefore, we would like to make a simple suggestion. Stop running the ad. It's not only an act of hypocrisy...
Your girlfriend says to you: "Why can't you be more like Sam Shepard?" She buys you denim jackets, refuses to wash your bluejeans, pickles your tongue with shots of tequila. "Why don't you buy a lasso?" she suggests. "Buck broncos, for Christ's sake. Dip snuff, do chaw, go smokeless, anything...
...looks good on the dashboard of your truck as you pull away from the lot. A mile from your girlfriend's house you stop at a ditch to wash your bloody head. When you look up you see your girl across the water drinking tequila, a broken fishing pole in her hand. "Darlin'!" you cry. "I've come to take can't never leave each other...
...while prospects look bright for a Shepard-filled future treat yourself in the interim to Altman's Fool For Love. It's better than tequila, or Barbara Mandrell, or Tex-Mex chili, or a pocketful of quarters and a virgin Magic Fingers. And despite Harvard Square Theatre's highway-robbery $5 ticket price, you'd be an ever-lovin' fool for missing...