Word: tess
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...given up on department stores. Says Tess Goodier, 36, of Vienna, Va., mother of two young children: "It's so much easier than going over to J.C. Penney and chasing after my wandering kids." While the new catalog kings have much in common, each is trying to carve out its own identity...
...Agent Tess Tosterone combines the physique of the Incredible Hulk with the character of Saturday Night Live's "Pump you up" boys, Hanz and Franz. She has the voice and the lines for the job: "I tell you now and you remember later, but believe me now." Zlupko's stage presence and oafish dancing perfectly suit Tess, who is at one point aptly called "Zuberwench...
STILL, much of the show's banter is as boring and subtle as this exchange between a blitzed Senator Bedderly (Nevin Steinberg '89) and Agent Tess Tosterone: "You're drunk," she says. "And you're ugly," he retorts. And don't forget fat, an insult which finds its way into every other joke...
...Pisani Pastore is well-suited to the fumbling characters and their falsies. Swinging grenades and twisting necks make "Soldier Soul" the best revue of the night. A close second comes when the same characters, in baby blue and bright orange mountaineer outfits reminiscent of Heidi, perform the Ritzcracker ballet. Tess Tosterone's pliet and her son's leaps steal the show...
...Roaring Twenties satin and fringe are a dazzling but understated use of the $30,000 costume budget. The best duds of the night came in Act II, when the speakeasy clientele and the cops don camoflauge outfits and wellplaced grenades. In the night's fashion coup extraordinaire, Agent Tess Tosterone sports black leather bodice, camo cape and the most lethal weapon of all--metal breastcups with fold-out knives--better known as "Ginsu chest...