Word: tess
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...Jimmy Hollywood" at 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:20 and 9:45. "Thumbelina" at 1, 3, 5 and 7:50. "In the Name of the Father" at 12:50, 3:35, 6:40 and 9:30. "Guarding Tess" at 9:05 p.m. "The Paper" at 12:35, 3:10, 5:30, 7:50 and 10:10. " Mighty Ducks 2" at 12, 2:15, 4:35, 6:55 and 9:20 "Above the Rim" at 2, 4:15, 6:25 and 8:35. "Naked Gun 33 1/3" at 1:45, 4, 6, 8:05 and 10:20. "Philadelphia...
...then how else could the main characters learn to appreciate one another for who they really are? The kidnapping makes Special Agent Chesnic realize how much Tess means to him; he also finally gets to fulfill his active agent fantasies. She then realizes that she genuinely likes him, and not only because she can order him around. By the end of the movie, they have both overcome many of their prejudices and grown as individuals...
Several sub-plots come into the picture, but never follow through; we find out that Tess has an inoperable brain tumor, but that's the end of the story--it doesn't enter into the rest of the plot. Tess tears up when her sleazy son asks her to endorse a retirement complex, but we get no sense of the emotions behind this exchange...
...trite as the plot is, the main characters rescue it from oblivion. The trenchcoat-and-sunglass-clad, play-it-by-the-book Doug Chesnic is perfect contrast to the odd but kind Tess Carlisle. Several political references also spice up the dull script. Some are to past administrations, like when Tess says that all Agnew and Johnson ever did was play golf: "If was a blessing for the country." Others allude to Bill and Hillary. When Tess watches old news clips about her husband, the audience learns her Clinton-like history relatively painlessly. Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle met at Denison...
Basically, "Guarding Tess" is a good mindless flick. Enjoy watching several gun-toting men tiptoe around an old lady's flawlessly decorated house. Try to figure out the bizarre and rather sadistic plot twist. But whatever you do, don't think about the movie when it's over--or you'll realize that what seemed like a fun way to flow off an afternoon is really a grossly flawed attempt to milk a single joke for far too long...