Word: therapists
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Sallyanne Monti, 42, and Mickey Neill, 52, began seeing a couples therapist soon after their relationship began six years ago, and they have been in counseling on and off ever since. They have gone to hash out the kinds of problems that plague many couples: guilt, anxiety, miscommunication and dealing with teenage kids...
Perhaps I made things even worse by talking to my mother, who is a family therapist and therefore, I figured, must have great, sensible advice she doles out to struggling clients. I approached the subject gingerly. Mom did not. She apparently has a whole list of things she recommends: a book called 52 Invitations to Grrreat Sex, two Nancy Friday books (My Secret Garden and Forbidden Flowers), the movies 9 1/2 Weeks and Swept Away, and two "instructional" tapes from the Better Sex video series: Making Sex Fun and Advanced Sexual Techniques. Her final suggestion, "renting pornography or whatever works...
...Americans occasionally engage in SM sex. "The lighter end of BDSM is penetrating bedrooms across America. It's restraint on bedposts, it's spanking, it's fantasy play--and it's all fairly common," says Barnaby Barratt, president-elect of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. In his quarter-century of private practice as a therapist in southeastern Michigan, Barratt says, "hundreds, if not thousands" of married couples have told him they want to bind, paddle or play teacher/pupil with each other...
...former Senator Bob Dole's TV huckstering--by the millions. They have been a boon for countless men (and, one hopes, their partners) while reducing demand for penile implants and other awkward mechanical aids. "We took Mr. V on our cruise," an elderly couple recently wrote Tampa, Fla., sex therapist Bonnie Saks from their post-counseling trip. "Had a great time. Thank you very much." Still, these wonder drugs won't do any good if there is no sexual urge in the first place or if other health conditions impair erectile function. As Saks points out, "The medications...
Workouts of the imagination can help too. "Take a vacation; make out in the car," sex therapist Cynthia Lief Ruberg, co-author of Pathways to Pleasure (PEC Publishing; 223 pages), tells elderly clients who complain they're in a rut. Or try new ways of doing the same old thing. In Married Lust: 10 Secrets of Long-Lasting Desire (Hearst Books; 224 pages), Pamela Lister and the editors of Redbook prescribe new sex positions, from tender to kinky, as "a perfect antidote to the encroaching dullness of routine." (Their survey shows women favor the missionary position, while men tend...