Word: tivo
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...beginning of this season, the show junked its much-loved "God Only Knows" ice pond opening-credits sequence for one that blended slo-mo falling, a la Mad Men, with what looked like a commercial for Preference by L'Oreal. (Do you fast-forward through that opening when TiVo-ing the show? I do.) But in the past two episodes, I've come to think that Olsen and Sheffer knew what they were doing and have made the vagaries...
...talking more about my theory, I used my landline to call Sherry Turkle, an MIT professor of the social studies of science and technology. She told me people are not only uninterested in Skype, we're also not interested in talking on the regular phone. We want to TiVo our lives, avoiding real time by texting or e-mailing people when we feel like it. "Skype, which was the fantasy of our childhood, gets you back to sitting there and being available in that old-fashioned way. Our model of what it was to be present to each other...
Still, it's possible that Cassandra and I could get into some sort of freak accident in which the TiVo remote flew out of my hand and sliced both our jugulars, so we discussed whom we'd choose as Laszlo's legal guardian. We immediately thought of my father and his wife, since they are responsible, patient, happy, amazing with children and very rich. But they're old. Laszlo would think music consisted of nothing but Steve Lawrence and Brenda Lee and was accessible only through four-digit cable channels. Plus, they live in the Hamptons, so Laszlo would grow...
...about religion, education, discipline, family, home, competition, money and not taking things too seriously, and I know they'd love Laszlo as their own child once he was in their home. Besides, Ben was going to have to teach him how to play sports even if we survived the TiVo accident. As we discussed the Wu kids' hobbies, college funds and cute clothes, Cassandra looked at me and said, "I want to be raised by the Wus." And the truth is, after taking all those babies, we owe the Chinese at least...
...Marshéle Carter Waddell and their three kids had noticed that everyday things like a whining vacuum cleaner could trigger his rages. Even his kids riled him. "I'd come back from stepping over corpses with their entrails hanging out, and my kids would be upset because their TiVo wasn't working," he recalls. Arriving home from one combat mission, Waddell insisted on sleeping with a gun under his pillow. Another night, he woke up from a nightmare with his fingers wrapped around his wife's throat, her face turning blue. Marshéle had to change the sheets...