Word: toaster
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...Lion (a pseudo pub), to swap leg- pulling tales and practice one-upmanship by inventing sidesplitter headlines. Billy Burt, editor of the Examiner, proffers the classic example of HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR as the quintessence of a tabloid art form. Balfour opts for convolution: THE TOASTER POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL or, better, THE DOG THAT SHOT ITS OWNER. All voice serious concern that unimaginative headlines -- GIRL, 11, BECOMES GRANDMOTHER -- are replacing zany eye-catchers -- CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS USED MAP PREPARED BY SPACE ALIENS -- that reflect the best work of twisted minds. Ex-Fleet Streeter Sheila O'Donovan, known to Examiner...
James Randi barely made it into this world. Born prematurely in Toronto in 1928, he weighed only 2 lbs. 3 oz. Despite that precarious debut, Randall James Hamilton Zwinge soon took center stage. At nine, he invented a pop-up toaster; by his early teens he had taught himself trigonometry, calculus and hieroglyphics...
...Moscow Correspondent Ann Blackman. From observing the reactions of Moscow friends who visit her comparatively grand apartment, she knew how difficult many Soviet women have it at home. "The kitchen isn't exceptional by American standards," Blackman reports. "But the Soviet women are amazed to see a dishwasher, a toaster and a Cuisinart." Soviet men are bemused at the sight of her husband, Associated Press Moscow Bureau Chief Michael Putzel, helping in the kitchen...
...arms, I'll phone him on Air Force One and explain how we incinerated Melmac. Still the same old me: no moral compass, no sense of proportion, no fear. I still break things a lot too. I learned the hard way that you can't smoke fish in a toaster, puree a rock in a blender or light an oven an hour after you turn on the gas. I even accidentally scared an old man to death and discovered that makes earthlings sad instead of happy for the guy that he'll never be late to work again...
...their front yard, snow melts off six other refrigerators, piles of tires, three Maytag washing machines, a dozen bicycles, several bed frames and various orderly piles of useful treasures, all harvested from the dump. Their toaster, broiler, blender, coffeepot, clock, heaters and just about every other electrical item in the house are also from the dump, repaired by Ron, along with down jackets, chairs, front ends for cars, wood, French windows and jars for canning...