Word: toasters
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...LINE HANDYMEN Still daunted by the thought of reprogramming your VCR, let alone your newfangled DVD? Just wait until your 3-D holographic TV won't power up or your talking toaster starts mouthing off. Remote diagnostics will take care of most of your home electronics, but a few repairmen will still make house calls...via video phone...
...same page, but I wonder now whether that's because they know less or more than I do. Wondering why my education has left me with so many religious questions: Does God exist? What should I do if He does? Why doesn't "Zoroaster" rhyme with "toaster...
...walked into my room on Monday afternoon to find two strange men packing my roommates' and my possessions into a cardboard box. Our microwave, toaster, hot pot, rice cooker and candles were labeled with our room number and stuffed into the box. Citing vague safety violations, their supervisor left me with a printed handout on fire safety regulations and an assurance that the "violations" would be returned at the end of the year...
...concern for fire regulations is vital, especially considering the recent dorm fire at Seton Hall. Regardless, this policy against kitchen appliances is absolutely inane. Other appliances, such as irons, blow driers and lamps have just as much propensity for starting a fire as a toaster or rice cooker. The rule does little to improve fire safety and only lowers the quality of life for students. If we can be trusted with the keys of knowledge, can't we be trusted with a microwave...
...high points are the running and operating of defunct devices, like the rotating file cabinets and human elevator analogue, complete with passenger. There is a poetry in useless machines, like taking pictures with no film, running the toaster with no bread or switching on the empty Cuisinart--a poetry that has its own meter and history...