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...many times, in a loud voice. Maybe drunk dial Ec 10. Here are some rules to drink by: 1. Any lecture that ends to the tune of “and that is why Ancient Etruscan Transgender Practices are important to your life today” deserves a hearty toast, for effort at least. 2. If your hot TF seems suspiciously more flirtatious than usual, offer her/him a swig of Rubinov from your Poland Springs bottle. This is your last chance. Ask them when you could meet to talk about your paper; when they answer, explain that you will unfortunately...

Author: By Alexander J. Ratner, CONTRIBUTING WRITER | Title: LAST DAY OF CLASSES DRINKING GAME | 4/29/2009 | See Source »

...some big surprise. I tried to give him a look that would get him to scooch over. But he moved his body an inch then looked back to the pulpit.A thousand eyes were watching me, and all he could do was make enough room for a piece of toast? Not many things could have pumped me from that horrible way I felt but this was one of them. So I stepped from the aisle, tried to sit in that sliver, and then whacked the man with my hips until he and all his friends from Crotchety Incorporated moved it down...

Author: By Nathan D. Johnson, CONTRIBUTING WRITER | Title: FEATURED FICTION | 4/2/2009 | See Source »

...this new era, everybody must begin to account for his or her behavior. Wall Street executives cannot get fat on paper profits from powder-keg transactions. Government regulators cannot take long lunches to toast the invisible hand. Investors cannot expect new bubbles to bailout their busts. Congress cannot send home boondoggle pork projects while whining about government spending. And the President of the United States shall no longer have the liberty to dodge the big issues. He will have to lead by example and make the hard choices. (See who's who in Obama's White House...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Will Deficits Force Obama to Sacrifice His Agenda? | 3/23/2009 | See Source »

There's a lot to digest there, so here's a recap. Jesus can be found: • On a grilled cheese sandwich • On a potato chip • On a window pane • On a pancake • On a piece of burnt toast • On a tree trunk • On a Cheeto • On a waffle • On a spoon • On a frying pan • On a cinnamon roll • On a danish (this may be the same as the aforementioned cinnamon roll. Unclear) • On a fish stick • On a cat • On a moth...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: 21 Unexpected Places to Find Jesus | 3/11/2009 | See Source »

...jeans mix with women, some wearing above-the-knee skirts, some in long dresses and head scarves. It's a typical soirée for Cairo's well-heeled set, yet tonight there's more than the usual Middle East-meets-West twist. The revelers are here to toast an 
 unlikely creative marriage, between Egyptian artist Azza Fahmy, who has spent decades reviving Arab jewelry traditions, and British designer Julien Macdonald, whose dresses are worn by London's party crowd...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Fertile Waters: Azza Fahmy and Julien Macdonald | 3/11/2009 | See Source »

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