Word: toddler
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...enter. Bing offers advice on the care and feeding of such corporate pachyderms, but, more important, he tells you how not to get trampled. Drain yourself of all hope, he says. Don't expect anything--especially kindness. And never, ever, criticize. The elephant, you see, is really an overgrown toddler who still thinks the world revolves around it. Elephants know a great deal about a great many things, says Bing, but nothing about human feelings. Especially yours, the faithful retainer. So listen to the wisdom and the many jokes of Buddha Bing (ba-da-boom!), and always, always...
...most innovative musical toy at the Toy Fair this year is Neurosmith's Musini ($69.99, ages 3 and older, due out in September). Musini is built around a motion sensor that picks up vibrations from the surrounding room. Put it on the floor, and when a toddler stamps a foot or knocks on a wall, Musini composes music on the fly in time with the kid's movements. The room itself becomes a musical instrument, one that never plays the same song twice. Note: Musini is not compatible with Hummel figurine collections...
...Wiggles concert. Fans will literally crawl through the crowd to the stage. Others get so mesmerized, they wet their pants. And then there are the ugly confrontations when the concert is over. None of it fazes the band's four musicians. When you have been the focus of toddler adoration for 10 years, you have pretty much seen...
...rules of entertainment either. Their dancing seems corny, their costumes loud and their sidekicks (including Dorothy the Dinosaur, Wags the Dog and Captain Feathersword the Friendly Pirate) oafish. The way Fatt, 48, keeps falling asleep is just annoying. But Field attributes the group's success to its embrace of toddler notions of entertainment. "The language is very simple," he says. "The songs are unapologetically repetitive. Kids love to shout, 'Wake up, Jeff!' It empowers them...
...York City, brightness is almost everything. I was oohing and aahing over a toddler's flawless German and English chatter in the park the other day and the mother shook her head. "No one's really impressed in this town unless the kid's at least trilingual," she said. One of the reputedly best schools in the city requires its three-year-old applicants to take a Stanford-Binet intelligence test. Since the school is also free, there's a lot of competition to get in. Only children who score in the 98th or 99th percentile are considered. We duly...