Word: toddler
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...lived with them too. No, the two guys don't go for each other; the triad tried a menage a trois once but stopped because Chris thought it was icky. Instead, they lived as man and wife and man, with April taking turns. Together they were raising April's toddler (from a previous relationship), earning a living and wondering how Shane could learn to manage his jealousy when he heard Chris having sex with their wife. Despite the obvious difficulties, until about a year ago, they had formed an odd but functional family...
...pulled last year. At the Golden Globes, the SAGS and the Oscars, she cried through each one of her speeches and added a new traumatized family member to her thank-you list. Her father, her cousin, her mother, her dear friend "Mr. Affleck," her brother's nephew's toddler's girlfriend... The boo-hoo hooligan tried to convince us that the dumb piece of gold was the cure for all her family members' illnesses! (Too bad it wasn't a cure for that dress that didn't fit. Her publicist later chastised the media for calling...
...sneakers that do it. It's the sneakers--gleaming white symbols of American prosperity--that are so irreconciliable with the picture of the bare-footed toddler that has flooded bookstores' shelves for the past three years on the cover of Angela's Ashes. It's the sneakers that are so unlike the scuffed lace-ups that he wears in the photograph on the front of his latest book, 'Tis, as he grins out at the world from his new home in New York. And so, as McCourt patiently waits for his turn to speak, I struggle--unable to reconcile...
When I was six years old I knew that ice cream was somehow connected to the undesirable roundness of my post-toddler tummy. And since the fifth grade, when my family switched to frozen yogurt on the occasion of my parents' first cholesterol tests, I've been aware of the less "fattening" alternatives. I don't mean that I was obsessing about these things as early as that. That was a later phase, starting around the seventh grade. Only that I've been semi-consciously stockpiling health information for most of my life. It's gotten to the point that...
...skip? Is there a place for unfallen sexual play in your life? Or just fucking? What would I have done 300 years ago for the equivalent shock tactic of a swear word? Why is free and unpredictable movement so threatening on subways? Should I mind when a toddler hurls itself at my crotch and vomits on my wide-wale corduroys...