Word: towelled
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...This is a wonderful event for the Republicans, but it's not news," Koppel told a San Diego Union-Tribune reporter after announcing his decision to throw in the towel and go back to Washington for the rest of the week. Would that all journalists at the convention had the power of Koppel's convictions. But since they didn't--and since I got paid by a San Diego newspaper to stick around and watch--here's a sampling of the oddities you could find, media and otherwise, in and around the San Diego Convention Center this week...
Having a hard time paying your bills? Are your debts becoming unmanageable? Afraid that the bank may foreclose on your home? Why not join the crowd--and toss in the towel? Beat it. Just walk away. Declare yourself bankrupt. More than 266,000 consumers filed for bankruptcy in the first three months of 1996 alone, the highest quarterly total ever. Experts say an unprecedented 1 million individuals will go belly-up by the end of the year. In the process, they are turning an onerous personal disaster into something on the order of overdraft checking. "Personal bankruptcy," says researcher Robert...
...cases in which the cure is worse than the disease. Aside from the obvious problem no combination, no tinkle--a myriad of other inconveniences come to mind. For instance, it generally takes two hands to open a door combination lock-better make sure that towel is tied tightly around your waist. And what happens if another massive first-year food poisoning epidemic strikes Harvard? The potential chaos is inconceivable. So, in the public interest, we would like to suggest alternate solutions...
Hire washroom attendents. Not only would it be infinitely classy to have someone hand you a towel every time you wash your hands, but these attendents could keep an eye out for suspicious-looking people...
MANCHESTER, N.H.--Just four days after Republican presidential candidate Sen. Phil Gramm (R-Tex.) threw in the towel, he threw his support to once-rival U.S. Senate Majority Leader Robert J. Dole (R-Kan.) Sunday afternoon...