Word: tuba
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...play or conduct, as are the massive 19th century war-horses usually undertaken by transient orchestras comprised of widely diverse individual talents. Equally commendable is the fact that there was only one ringer in the group (as it happened, the Summer School just didn't attract a tuba player this year). And while the quality of performance was often less than ideal (although it was never distressingly so)--better this state of affairs than a dull program with a lot of last-minute professional support...
...guard at Purdue, John Robert Wooden used to fling himself toward the hoop with such desire that he once ended up in the fifth row of the college band. Today, his fellow coaches in college basketball have good reason to wish Wooden had got permanently stuck in a tuba. For defeating the Wooden-coached U.C.L.A. Bruins has become as seemingly impossible as shooting a winning basket while sitting down-another feat of Wooden's playing career at Purdue...
...CONDUCTORS Toscanini had a strong temper, and he slashed through rehearsals. But he was the kind of conductor who could forestall trouble. By just looking at his tuba player, he could tell how much wind the man had taken in and forecast how long that tuba note was going to be. He would then make a sign warning to the guy not to play that long. He was the most expert conductor there...
...cooking, appearing with the Boston Pops Orchestra? Admittedly, she looks like a Wagnerian soprano, but could she sing? As it turned out, she didn't even try. The orchestra played and Julia beamed, mugged and moved her chaotic voice through the narrator's role in Tubby the Tuba. The Boston audience loved it and gluttonously demanded an encore. Reverting to her metier by wheeling out a cartful of bottles, the obliging Julia rapidly concocted a cocktail and served it to Conductor Arthur Fiedler precisely on time with the orchestra's final tonic chord...
...seven men raised up to challenge Richard Nixon come out of small-town America. Only Teddy Kennedy, a child of privilege, does not know the sulfuric terror of a tiny Methodist Sunday school, the hard-penny economics of a paper route, or the ecstasy of being a state tuba champion...