Word: tune
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...been bitten by the Sea Krait water snake, the world's most venomous serpent? The experts had warned them about that, but nobody really thought it would happen. Suddenly somebody snaps, running off into the woods alone in a blind panic. What will happen to him? Tune in next week...
...talent and accomplishments in math, music, and chess, he'll be quick to tell you there are people more accomplished than he in each, even at this very school. Sure, but can they do all three? And whistle and hum in counterpoint? (A neat trick where he whistles a tune while simultaneously humming the accompaniment. And yes—he does take requests...
...Lasers, lights, an inflated rag doll, three video screen, and gigantic speakers pulsed through the crowd, throwing everyone into a bass beat thrashing. Bodies flew through the air in the pit, while Korn-dogs in the stands forced their way past guards onto the floor. Pandemonium ensued to the tune of "Got the Life," "A.D.I.D.A.S.," "Faget" and "Freak on a Leash." After two encores, Korn finally closed with a supercharged version of "Blind," eliciting more thrashing and tearing when one though the crowd must be out of energy. Four hours after in started...
...even if something goes wrong, extensive substance use would prove very entertaining and ratings-friendly. Just imagine how many people would tune in to watch Chi Chi Rodriguez' famous sword dance if there were a chance he would succumb to 'roid rage and attack his caddy after sinking the putt. Hasn't FOX made a ratings killing off shows with similar premises...
They might not have to fix that many genes--just a few hundred mainly developmental ones. The genes for the immune system, for memory mechanisms and the like would all be standard for a vertebrate. To fine-tune the creature, they could go fishing in other bird genomes, or perhaps import a few ideas from lizards and turtles...