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...plant 500 trees this year" or Moore's pledge to "free 1 million people from slavery in the next five years." Might be better to keep it simple, though, like Jason Bateman for example: "I pledge to flush only after a deuce. Never a single." Or Diddy: "To turn the lights off." And Schumacher: "To never give anyone the finger when I'm driving." (Obama spent his Martin Luther King Day "being the change" with a paint roller...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Celebs Pledge Allegiance | 1/20/2009 | See Source »

...Decades ago, in the wake of Halloween and Black Christmas, exploitation filmmakers scurried for other holidays to turn into horrors. In 1981 some Canadian geniuses got the notion to add psychopathic gore to the day of romantic mush and put it all to the title of an old Rodgers and Hart song. The gaudy box-office take for My Bloody Valentine's 3-D remake will surely cue more feast-day gorefests. Expect to see The Scarin' of the Green on St. Patrick's Day and Peter Choppin'tail for Easter, as well as My Pukey Purim and, every four...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Mall Cop and Other Disreputable Pleasures | 1/20/2009 | See Source »

...mischief a pickax can work on the human body. (Or a shovel: one victim gets her face sliced through sideways at the mouth, the head sliding slowly down the shovel, everything from the jaw and below dropping out of frame.) Such are the reductive pleasures of horror movies; they turn viewers into connoisseurs of sadism, co-conspirators with the madman performing his miner atrocities. It's what we're here for, right...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Mall Cop and Other Disreputable Pleasures | 1/20/2009 | See Source »

...stories are full of problems. The U.S. has built new schools, but there are not enough teachers, and salaries are so low that nobody stays. On a trip to Helmand last summer I met a farmer who had been offered a water pump that would have enabled him to turn his desert-like property into a field of wheat and vegetables. He declined it, fearing that the Taliban would find out he had accepted a gift from foreigners and would execute him as a spy. (See pictures from Prince Harry's deployment to Helmand...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Obama's Daunting Task in Afghanistan | 1/19/2009 | See Source »

...good news for Merkel. Although Koch retained power in Hesse, the CDU's share of the vote remained static. The biggest gains were posted by smaller parties like the FDP, the Greens and the Left. In such turbulent times, voters might be expected to turn out in their droves. But voter participation in Hesse was only 61%, the lowest turnout ever recorded in the state. "The federal election will depend on which parties can mobilize voters but for the moment only the small parties are doing so - especially the FDP and the Greens," said Peter Lösche...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Merkel Scores Big Win in Regional Election | 1/19/2009 | See Source »

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