Word: turtlehood
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...mutant ninja rat fondles the trip wire that he is holding. “Ohh,” April gasps as she drops to her knees with nothing to break her fall except Michelangelo’s seemingly androgynous genital area. Nothing can thwart Michelangelo’s throbbing turtlehood as it breaks through his turtle shell in an explosion of desire. It appears that Michelangelo is half-turtle, but all man. “Hey April, don’t cut me no slack,” Michelangelo murmurs. April eagerly complies...
Whenever Grandma Jaboti tells this story to Harlan, her mother tempers the narrative by explaining that Grandmother Jaboti wasn't really a turtle, but had simply been put in a fake turtle shell by evil carnival managers that had convinced Jaboti of her turtlehood when she was too young to know the truth. Despite her attempts to provide a rational explanation of Jaboti's surreal biography, though, Harlan's mother cannot help but be nervous about the influence of this story, worrying that such fantasy might render Harlan unable "to tell the truth from the truth...
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