Word: twitter
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...assumed I became one of the 200 most popular people on twitter due to my Dorothy Parker-level quipping. Stuff like "Every Bastille Day I think the same sad thought: "I have never stormed anything" and "World music makes me not want to travel." But it turns out that Twitter provides a suggestion list of people to follow when you sign up, and they put me on the list. Due, no doubt, to my Dorothy-Parker level quipping. Unless I'm on some suggestion list VCs provide internet companies with when they sign up for investment money...
...asked them to spread false rumors about him, including one about how he gambled on the Olympics against America. Four of them did. This is because, as with all numbers given for what people do on the web, I do not really have anywhere near the 700,000 followers twitter claims. I have 700,000 followers who signed up for twitter once and never looked at it again. I figure maybe 5,000 people read my tweets and maybe half of them make it all the way to the end of the 140 characters. This did not shock me, since...
...twitter fame hasn't brought me money, jobs or naked twit pics from fans. Being the 180th most popular person on twitter is less powerful than being on an episode of E!'s 101 Hottest Hotties of Hotliwood for three seconds. In fact, the only effect it has had, is that my friends on twitter ask me to tweet about them. Which is the writing equivalent of yelling encouragement to people while they masturbate...
...Still, I feel compelled to tweet once a day, for my 700,000 imaginary readers. Because as a writer, all readers are imaginary anyway. Only with twitter, some of the fake ones have hot pictures...
...ways Twitter will change American business...