Word: tysons
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...teams go back to work (and I use that term loosely). Wade Boggs will be photographed having sex with his daily chicken dinner. Yankee manager Pete Rose will lose $1000 for guessing incorrectly the date of Dwight Gooden's cocaine relapse. Larry Holmes, emerging from retirement to fight Tyson, will be caught with lead in his gloves. Tyson will beat him up anyway. Jack Nicklaus will be caught trying to improve his lie on the $1.3 million 18th hole of the Skins Game. "I was, uh, counting the dimples on my ball," Nicklaus will say in another lie needing great...
...United States will win the World Cup. Bobby Knight will simmer down. The Red Sox will win the World Series. The Rangers will win the Stanley Cup. The senior baseball league will gain respectability. George Foreman will defeat Tyson for the title. Whoops, slipped back into what won't happen in the '90s. Sorry...
...whole time. Tommy Lasorda will admit he hired a stunt double to look skinny for those diet commercials. Hulk Hogan will admit that professional wrestling is fake, and that only brain-dead people watch it. Jordan will admit he is not really from this planet, and will fly home. Tyson will admit he was beaten up by Barbara Walters (Why else would he have agreed to do that interview?), and will come out of retirement to challenge her to a rematch...
...Malthusian economists running the Halls will unceremoniously eject previous undeserving winners. Pee Wee Reese and Al Davis will be disconsolate. Steffi Graf will defeat Boris Becker at Wimbledon, but a 12-year-old girl will foil her bid for her seventh Grand Slam. Walters will beat up Tyson, who will retire again...
...beat up Walters. Sugar Ray Leonard will come out of retirement to beat up Duran. Marvin Hagler will come out of retirement to beat up Leonard. Thomas Hearns will come out of retirement to beat up Hagler. In desperation, boxing commissioner Pete Rozelle will establish a senior boxing circuit. Tyson will come out of retirement to beat up Rozelle...