Word: uh
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...INVENTOR: MERCK Perhaps you didn't know this, but turkeys are sold by gender--toms as cutlets and deli meats, hens as whole birds. So turkey breeders must separate hatchlings at birth. But genetic breeding has made it nearly impossible to tell the difference without, uh, checking the goods, a messy process at best. The Merck team patented Gender-Specific Fading Down, meaning boys are born with black feathers, girls with brown. The colors fade as the turkeys grow...
Actually, the Grille was exactly what I expected-lots of freshmen (I saw my whole Ec 10 section), some extremely sketchy senior girls, and uh, the entire [insert sport here] team. "Sometimes Matt Damon and Ben Affleck come here to hang out," a friend chimed in as we entered. "Yeah, maybe pre-Good Will Hunting. No movie star would be caught dead in here," I retorted just as I got poked in the eye with a greasy buffalo wing. But what do you know, when my vision clears, I see another greasy buffalo-in this case, Mr. Affleck...
Through the rumor mill, I hear that a group of girls accompanied him back to his suite at the Charles and eventually they all ended up at the Fly. Uh-huh, not only did Ben stoop to being a Grille rat, he also wanted to check out our final-club scene. Sigh. Didn't Ben Affleck used to be cool? This is so indicative of a larger problem...
...Especially if you manage to sound like the responsible one. An oddly grinning Gore came out Monday at 4:00 p.m. for a vice-presidential photo-op to call for the process to go on "without any intervening, uh, interference." (Yes, it was Gore, not Bush.) "It's not the contest but our democracy. I would not want to win the presidency by a few votes cast in error, or not counted or whatever, and I don't think Gov. Bush wants that either...
...letter my friend received from an, uh, let's just say "eager" parent...