Word: vag
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...What will you never do again?" I asked from my seat at Vag's desk, where I like to work while my room-mates have water pistol fights...
...said, startled. "It's you. I didn't see you." He paused, then sighed tremendously. "Well, you might as well know. You'd see it soon in my face if I didn't tell you. I am no longer the Vag I was; I am utterly unmanned. I have just been to class. Worse than that, I have, as a glance at your watch will inform you, been to a nine o'clock class...
Despite numerous exhortations on the part of L.L. and the disk-jockeys, Lester's music did not seem to move the populace to a spirit of dancing. Indeed, there were probably no more than ten people dancing in the entire square, two of which Vag noticed rocking to a medium-pace Lanin fox-trot. After this set was completed, followed again by a deafening silence, a long line of state and local celebrities filed onto the bandstand to say a few ungrammatical sentences to the assembly. Most nobable among them was perhaps Mayor Phil Des-Rosiers who welcomed...
After a few more attempts at musical excitement, L.L. gave up and pulled out his ace-in-the-hole, Lester Lanin hats, which he tossed benevolently to the agitated throng immediately in front of the bandstand. The last of the hats brought silence anew, and Vag began to fear anew that his sadistic dreams of mutilation and riot would go unrealized. His last hope lay in Joni James and Jerri Vale, and they failed him. The crowd watched mutely as Joni and Jerri appeared, sang their songs and left; Lester began to play again...
...more than Vag could believe: not a single reaction to Lanin's music, loud boos for local leaders, pure apathy for two of the country's most popular vocalists. Vag began to feel the pressure of the crowd around him, although the people were not actually pressing physically against him since his snotty remarks during the evening had long since created a you-need-a-man's-deodorant circle around him. Turning around, he saw the seductive portals of the Alamo Bar and Grill. Slowly, as if in a trance, Vag entered, while on the platform, courageous to the last...