Word: vanilla
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...Taking my turn at the counter, I ordered most of the spartan menu: one double-double (double meat, double cheese), one cheeseburger, one french fries, a large Coke and a vanilla shake. The young order-taker, in his paper hat, was unenthusiastic but perfectly polite. "You want onions on your burgers?" he asked. I readily assented, and he shuffled...
...Vanilla...
...Dear Vanilla...
...managed to uncover some sexy looks. She found gems in the "pulpit" and "baptismal" collections. But if you're going to try to bust out with the holier-than-thou aesthetic, Dr. K recommends accessorizing with some slutty blue eye shadow. And maybe some white platform sandals. But Vanilla Val, sweetie, you need something a little more hyper-sexualized. Dr. K recommends reinventing the robe. She is thinking: skin-tight robing. E.R. Moore has a new Kindergarten line called "Firstev'r"--it's regalia for small children (...don't ask). Invest in an extra-small kiddie gown--they're cheap...
...Vanilla Val, Dr. K says: Change out of those poopy-pants and get on the horn. And, for goodness sake girl, go commando--leave those skivvies in the dorm room. Heck, you're graduating...