Word: vanillaism
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...chained to the Scarsdale Diet, the Beverly Hills Diet, or perhaps by now a starvation routine concocted in some other overfed suburb whose inhabitants are rumored to be of ectoplasmic skinniness-is that more and more of us are now strung out on heavy cream, egg yolks, pure vanilla and-yes, oh yes-hot fudge topping with whipped cream, jimmies and walnuts...
...variant entrail-reading suggests that when people break faith with their diets, as they always do sooner or later, they want to do it with a strumpet certifiably and wickedly luxurious. Actually, according to a recent Consumer Reports calculation, a half-cup serving of superpremium vanilla ice cream contains only 267 calories, compared with 363 for a 5-oz. piece of homemade apple pie. A 154-lb. person, nutritionists say, can burn off half a dish in 21.2 min. of moderate skiing, 87.6 min. of golfing or painting furniture, or 188.6 min. of lying down and daydreaming. The difficulty...
What can be determined for sure is that cheap ice cream is half air. It would be airier still if Government regulations allowed it. Expensive ice cream is less than 30% air. Not only is superpremium made with the best cream, fresh fruit, chocolate and liqueurs (a fine French vanilla assays out at 3% egg yolks, twice the minimum specified by the U.S. Government for ice cream that is labeled French), but it contains a great deal more of these ingredients. A gallon of asylum-grade supermarket chocolate ripple weighs about 4½ lbs., and a gallon of Ben & Jerry...
...America. Her giggly California high-school pom-pom girl accent does not mesh with the romantic, metaphorical lines she is called upon to recite. When her line reads: "Yes, father, many things in life are like that," her voice says "gimme a large order of onion rings and a vanilla shake." She belongs in an Orange Crush television commercial. She belongs on a beach in Venice. California, or in a dune buggy. Anywhere but Africa...
Under Adler's spell, the great ideas take on palpable form. To make them concrete, he talks about triangles and squares, black swans and schnauzers, vanilla ice cream and boxes of ball bearings...