Word: varminters
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Fine, some say, but does Newman have to sing his own songs? He has always sounded like a toothless varmint, clawing the arms of a backwoods rocking chair and spitting out his views on love and politics as if they were gobs of rancid tobacco juice. But at 55, he has grown into the crabbiness of his voice, one that both feels pain and dishes it out. It perfectly suits the fables in this creepily beautiful CD, a sermon not from the mount but from the depths. Newman deserves to be cynical about everything but his supreme gift for telling...
...Northeastern and American history had it survived. Some possibilities I have come up with are: the Boston Massacre would be The Big Boston Whup-Ass; the Declaration of Independence would include 37 uses of the word "ain't" and contain the phrase "mighty displeased;" "Vermont" would be pronounced "Varmint:" instead of "Liberty or Death," some revolutionary flags would resemble Yosemite sam "Back Off" mudflaps; and there would be two major hurdles for presidential candidates: Electoral College and Chili Cook...
...past 27 years, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.) They are so unpopular that for decades the Federal Government has conducted poisoning campaigns to eradicate them from rangeland. Several rural communities even hold contests for "sport shooters," who find the animals stimulating targets because varmint-hunting cartridges disintegrate on impact, causing the dogs to explode into "red mist," a cloud of blood and vaporized rodent parts that offers hunters IVG, or instant visual gratification...
...seen repeatedly how reality has a way of departing from the script, frustrating hero and audience alike. The guy in the black hat won't go for his pistol or otherwise provide a pretext for the big shoot-out. The sheriff is left muttering that he'll get the varmint next time. And when the next time comes, there's often a new sheriff...
Rolling Hills Estates has an urban pest problem. The varmint travels in packs, digs holes in lawns, eats flower gardens, poops around pools and spas and, worst of all, starts screeching as early as 4 a.m. For sheer irritation, rats, raccoons, skunks, pigeons and possums are no match for the more than 150 wild peacocks that infest this otherwise tranquil, posh Southern California community. The flock -- often 30 to 40 birds roosting in a single tree -- descends from six Indian peafowl released on the Palos Verdes Peninsula...