Word: vat
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...Seventeen years ago, dolling! I didn't know vat I vas doing! I vas still just a little Hungarian teen-ager," said a contrite Zsa Zsa Gabor in her heaviest sour-cream accent. Back in 1945, the most visible of Mamma Gabor's three girls had tossed a tantrum in Manhattan's El Morocco nightclub, wound up spitting in Owner John Perona's face, and was banned forevermore from the zebra-striped benches. Now, a year after the proprietor's death, Son Edwin Perona listened to the importuning...
...case," Owly Vowly concluded unruffled, "vat I have said supports rather than not supporting the suggestion of Chicken Little that we tell the King, and I myself shall go along to clarify the problem...
...case Z--which is the relevant one--vat vould vee do in the sky's position? We might fall and we might not, depending on whether we wanted to or not. The solution to the problem, therefore, is to make the sky not want to fall. And this is done by a policy...
...exhibiting a gory ingenuity that few practitioners of other nationalities can match. One 1949 classic that gripped all Britain involved a man who did in nine people over a period of years, pausing each time to sip a wineglass of warm blood before dissolving the body in a vat of sulphuric acid. Another British murderer, convicted in 1953, consummated his frequent love affairs by strangling his partners and hanging their bodies behind the kitchen wall...
...hall gags and ditties that stuff out the evening. As the whores and queers and strangies cavort, as irreverent lyrics make butts of everything, as wisecracks tumble out brightly ("The worst thing about jail is the other Irish patriots who are in along with you") or breezy and old ("Vat 69-that's the Pope's telephone number"), it's easy to make too little of The Hostage, to call it mere tongue-in-cheekiness, a jolly but self-indulgent romp. And as, amid shenanigans, there comes a sudden stab to the heart or a surface shot...