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...faith means never having to say you're sorry. Tiger Woods surely apologized more times during his 13-minute statement Friday than Bill has in 38 hour-long episodes. The closest he gets to an act of contrition is admitting, "I'm an imperfect person, I know that.... I've been tested, and failed." But apologize to Ben? "Apologize for what...
...Bill reveals that his political ambitions fold into his domestic dream of make his polygamy public and moving his families into one big house. Bill's parents Lois and Frank drive Ben from Juniper Creek to Mexico, where they buy parrots for resale in the U.S. Lois thinks they've "cut out the middle man": Hollis Greene, the leader of a rival polygamous cult, who lives down there. But Hollis is not so easily ignored. He and his ultra-butch wife Selma seize the interlopers at gunpoint...
Bill has rightly pegged Alby as "a total sociopath." He tells this to Dale, who can't shake his love for Alby despite counseling from Mormon elders. Just say no to your gay impulses, they tell him, and Dale, shriveling in mortal misery, says, "That's what I've been hearing for 30 years." Every attempt at reprogramming his sexuality, from college days on, has only increased this very decent man's abysmal shame. Alby's wife Laura has discovered the affair, and informs Bill, who tells Dale he'll have to be taken off the UEB case...
...arms and whispers, "I think I'm damaged." When she appears at the weddings, she's wearing a miniskirt, garish makeup and a rakishly askew ponytail. "Get a sheet to cover her up," says the disgusted Adaleen; and Nicki spits back, proudly if cryptically: "It's who I've always been inside." Frantically seeking Cara Lynn, Nicki finds Joey's wife, the demurely deranged Wanda, who says of Cara Lynn, "She's in the nursery with the ponies." (We're deep into Twin Peaks territory now.) And when Alby discovers the hanging, he crumples to the floor in shock...
...Bartley: We've got this great poster of Larry Johnson and Larry Byrd playing together as babies. It's a great unifier. I really like it. In fact, someone offered to buy it, but we couldn...