Word: vipers
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Claire: Is skydiving! Is naked skydiving! Is bungee jumping off a bridge off the Eiffel Tower off the moon Is trapped in a pit full of vipers Fought my way out of a pit full of vipers by hacking at them with swords and then stabbing them with a bayonet Licked a hallucinogenic toad Just beat Jean-Claude Van Damme in a bar fight Saved babies and puppies from a burning building Joined the mob Married a unicorn Got stuck in a minefield Traveled back...
...maybe I'll write all of these while sitting on the couch, wrapped in my Snuggie and sipping chamomile tea. But can you really blame me? Viper pits are notoriously uncomfortable...
...country that poses the greatest threat to U.S. security may be neither of those where American boots are on the ground. Beset by feckless leadership, preoccupied with its rivalry with India and infested with militant groups, Pakistan in 2009 became a viper pit of terrorist plots and political malaise. The death of Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud in an August drone strike ratcheted up the stakes. After months of planning, Pakistan's Operation Path to Deliverance sent 28,000 troops to root out insurgents in South Waziristan in October. As threatened, extremists responded by unleashing attacks throughout the country...
...Among my companions on this 12-day expedition are India's foremost expert on snakes and crocodiles, Romulus Whitaker, and his wife Janaki. They effuse about the hills along the Kameng being aslither with the incredibly venomous pit viper. Between the Nishis, the tarantulas, the leopards and the pit vipers, I begin to wonder if a trip down the Kameng is more than I'd bargained on. Luckily, our expedition is led by two of India's most skilled river guides, Yousuf Zaheer and Anvesh Singh Thapa, who supply cooks, tents and the oarsmen who will steer our inflatable rafts...
...When Po hears that the thousand-year-old turtle Oogway (Randall Duk Kim) is to anoint a Dragon Warrior that day, he schleps his dumpling wagon to the ceremony. In a crowded courtyard, the greatest fighters of their time, the Furious Five - the Crane (David Cross), Viper (Lucy Liu), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Tigress (Angelina Jolie) and Monkey (Jackie Chan) - are showily displaying the fabulous skills they have honed under the stern eye of their teacher Shifu (Dustin Hoffman). Then, through plot contortions even more acrobatic than anything the Furious Five have demonstrated, Po is declared the new kung fu hero...