Word: virgines
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...double standard consistently ignored by most members of our society, including feminist scholars, is our attitude toward virginity vis-a-vis males. In our current age when the rate of teenage pregnancies and sexually transmitted disease (STD) cases is at its highest level ever, we have to defeminize virginity and make sexual abstinence an acceptable option for males as well as females. "The way things are," according to Hank Hill, means that our society sees virginity as correct for females and incorrect for males. As a virgin myself I have had to deal with the problems of being a male...
...lest they be subjected to interminable ribbing from the others. Hence, when the boys tested me by inquiring what the extent of my sexual prowess was, I nervously blurted something that probably came out, "Yeah, man, of course I've had sex, what am I some kind a loser virgin?" Then when they begged for details, I pieced together a titillating narrative from what little sexual knowledge I possessed--from movies, romantic novels, and sex ed class--to give a convincing account of my nonexistent sexual escapades...
...experience was not unique. Many guys in my high school, indeed in high schools all across the nation, have found themselves in situations like the locker room scene where they have lied about their sexual status and have kept their virginity in a closet. When I got into Harvard I told myself I wouldn't have to worry about any pressure to have sex. I saw Harvard as an opportunity to live as a male virgin without worrying about the sexual peer pressure that would occur at other, less enlightened campuses. I was wrong: the overbearing machismo is very much...
...gaining maturity and self-confidence, I learned to stop lying about my virginity, yet I saw many of my classmates continue the self-deception. I asked male friends, who were virgins, why they lied about their sexual experience. They gave me the obvious range of answers: "if everyone knew I was a virgin they will think I'm a loser"; "I won't get into that finals club"; "everyone else is doing it, I don't want to be the only male virgin on campus"; or "girls are not attracted to virgin guys, they would rather be with...
Female perspectives about virginity couldn't be any more different than the male perspective. Women who speak about their virginity do so in very confident, positive terms: "Yeah, I am a virgin"; "it's the right thing to do"; "I'm waiting 'till I'm ready"; "I want to make love instead of having sex"; "I don't want to be with someone I have no feelings with"; "so far I haven't found that person." Most females see their virginity as good, while most males view it as an embarrassment and concoct elaborate tales to hide it. We have...