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...star-studded birthday bash for the wife of a Hollywood producer at a ski resort in Vermont last week, Vito Giuliani Mussolini ’04, Eldrick Tiger Patel ’04 and Bailey C. Gonzalez ’04 chatted up Brooke Shields and her infant child. Shields pointed out her baby’s uncanny lack of facial given expressions — due perhaps to the underdeveloped musculature of her 10-month old face — speculating that “it must be due to the baby botox.” The polite giggle...

Author: By FM Staff, | Title: Gossip Guy | 11/13/2003 | See Source »

There hasn’t been a clearer example of the “mentor-protégé” relationship since Vito and Michael Corleone. Belichick had to learn from Parcells before he could succeed. You’re not just born a Godfather...

Author: By Alex M. Sherman, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: March to the Sea: Parcells Made Belichick Into a Coach | 11/13/2003 | See Source »

After a string of 36 straight days of “essences” emanating from the common room of Vito Giuliani Mussolini ’04 and Eldrick Tiger Patel ’04, their tutor has expressed concern about their mental health. In an unprecedented medical miracle, Mussolini and Patel have discovered the cure for mental health problems, which apparently involves a strict regimen of Febreze, lots of ventilation, wet towels under all doors and a strategically placed air purification device...

Author: By The CRIMSON Staff, | Title: Gossip Guy | 10/30/2003 | See Source »

...very drunk Darharpuni covered much of the walls, floors and ceilings of senior Larry P. Hotchkiss’ suite in a stew of vodka, eggplant parmesan, garlic bread, mozzarella sticks and bile as he went in careening search for the toilet. To the chagrin of Hotchkiss’ roommate, Vito Giuliani Mussolini ’04, Daharpuni had polished off his pre-puke feast with a half tin of salted peanuts, aggravating Mussolini’s severe peanut allergies. “I have to get the hell out of here,” said Mussolini as he made...

Author: By FM Staff, | Title: Gossip Guy | 10/16/2003 | See Source »

Apparently, the thrice-weekly 4 a.m. trips Vito Giuliani Mussolini ’04 has been making to Foxwoods have finally paid dividends—Mussolini cleaned house at a poker tournament in Leverett over the weekend. But he found himself in the hole again later on that same evening after losing a beer chugging contest to Myst, a dancer at a Chinatown strip club, and then losing a double-or-nothing arm-wrestling contest with Trinity, Myst’s on-stage companion. The night took another turn for the worse when a drunken Mussolini inadvertently tipped the bathroom...

Author: By FM Staff, | Title: Gossip Guy | 10/2/2003 | See Source »

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