Word: vomiting
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...following journal entries are all that could be translated from the brilliant yet cryptic texts that were recently found in the secret archives of the author who, we must sadly report, has committed ritual suicide to protest the unsightly green vomit that Harvard pours all over the yard each spring...
IMAGINE THE scummiest dregs of politics and pop culture accelerating into a putrid whirlpool that covers the nation and world with junkies, trash t.v., and half-witted--but brutal--bureaucrats. The population is smothering under a technicolor cultural vomit of drugs, shoddy food, and mind-numbing music. And it's all financed with government money...
...addressed to Wilhelm Orkley, but I assumed it was for me. The return address said it was from some place called Stanford. Having never heard of Stanford, I took the letter to the Lampoon's special Opening Letters That May Contain Bombs Room and soaked it in lamb's vomit before opening it. (For those of you not familiar with the Lampoon, I should explain that we are so rich, we have rooms for everything, and we have such wild parties, that we almost always collect lamb's vomit at them...
...reached into my pocket and found the letter which I had earlier soaked in the lamb's vomit. I opened it again and found that the author was the same "Josh...
PEOPLE ARE pretty gross when they're sick. They get sad and lethargic, and sometimes they vomit on your stuff. This is annoying, so Harvard created the University Health Services in order to take these bothersome people off our hands...