Word: waite
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...waiters are good, they're subtle. I know a waiter who was good at accidentally clipping people in the back of the head with his tray. Another technique is making people wait when they've ordered wine. You make them stew. Or you put in their steak order as medium instead of medium rare. I controlled the reservation system, so if you were a bad tipper or had mistreated me, I would seat you next to the men's room. My all-time favorite move was to tell people that their credit card was experiencing difficulties. A lot of people...
...dawns on me: the wait staff thinks I'm a local at first. Then I open my mouth, and they think I'm from mainland China, not hearing enough Mandarin to realize no native would speak with such atrocious grammar. It was something my travel guide hadn't prepared me for, that Hong Kongers don't view mainlanders too favorably...
...movie house, waiting for Tropic Thunder to begin, but first you have to sit through the commercials and previews of coming attractions. There's a spot for--wait a minute--Booty Sweat, an energy drink from the rapper Alpa Chino. Then a trailer for Scorcher VI, a Rambovian sequel in which the Stallone figure closely resembles a bulked-up Ben Stiller. A teaser for The Fatties: Fart 2 seems awfully Eddie Murphy, with one comic playing multiple members of a morbidly obese family, yet the actor under all that latex could well be Jack Black. Finally, a preview...
...Pakistan Expedition Takes Dizzying Toll In one of the deadliest episodes in mountaineering history, 11 climbers died on K2, the world's second highest peak. Falling ice severed their ropes, killing several and forcing others to either continue their descent without assistance or wait for rescue in perilous conditions. Both decisions proved fateful. With its 28,250-ft. (8,600 m) summit, steep ascent routes and rough weather, K2 is often considered the world's toughest climb...
...Wait, is that the lanky Utah Jazz forward and Russian basketball star Andrei Kirilenko in the chair, knees almost hitting his chin? Why, yes it is. You'll never see LeBron in the salon, since the U.S. basketball team is once again shunning the Village, opting for the comforts of Beijing's five-star InterContinental hotel. Kirilenko, who will make $15 million this season, says the Village facilitates team bonding, but he won't knock the U.S. for its élitism. "You get used to doing things a certain way," he says. "It's all right." With basketball's popularity...