Word: wanda
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...Wanda: It's not as dumb as you think, my naysaying husband. People have higher expectations of marriage than they used to, and the attempt to list some of these expectations is all to the good. It wouldn't be such a bad idea for us to work out a contract, Ralph...
...Wanda: You go first...
...Wanda: Not at all well, Ralph. Only an elephant could miss your ponderously expressed point. I assume it's my turn...
...Wanda: All right. You will pick up your underwear four or more times each week, or it will be confiscated and displayed for guests during dinner parties. You will remember the dates of my birthday and our anniversary or have them tattooed on your chest in mirror writing so you can meditate on them while shaving. We will go out to dinner at least once during October, even though it is the sacred time of the baseball playoffs, and you will remain eligible to talk in 10-sec. bursts or more during Monday-night football. You will cease all jokes...
...Wanda: You're pushing it, Ralph. What did Marilyn Monroe see in DiMaggio, anyway? Shouldn't she have had a marriage contract...