Word: warney
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...stump, Bing dropped one short. I went to pull it, the ball skidded on and hit me in the gooly. I was wearing a titanium protector, for extra confidence. Quality box. My left-arm pace was rusty, too much swing, couldn't pitch them on the stumps. Warney, 700 wickets (and counting!), gave me a nickname. "Extras," as in wide and no ball. Top bloke, even though he went to a private school...
...think the boys noticed. "Can't bat, can't bowl," I said to Freddie Flintoff when he was on nought. It did the trick. Flintoff was caught in the deep for 72. My first scalp. "Don't try and spin it so much," I told Warney at drinks. He'd never thought of that. Thirteen wickets to Shane for the Test. We'd won by an innings and 50 runs. I still hate Perth...
...saturday, 23 december: Had a big night at Warney's place. After Janine and the other wives took their kids back to the Ho-Tel, Shane and I kicked on. He said he didn't realize I'd once been P.M. He was living in England after he split with Simone. I'm sure he was winding me up. "Never mess with politics," Shane said. "That stuff can get you in a lot of trouble." We talked about our mums and diets. I said he would have been captain if he hadn't taken the slimming pills. Then we ordered...
...saturday, 30 december: We won the Melbourne Test but I felt empty. Shane thanked me for the advice: pitch it into the rough. Warney also said he'd never heard a bloke sledge his own. Gilly had it coming, though. Leg-side stumping or catch off an inside edge, take your pick. Gilly is overrated. People think he's a saint. I'd walk on an LBW if we had 600 on the board as well. A ground microphone had picked up: "You've just dropped the Ashes, wingnut." It was spur of the moment. Ricky agreed it was harsh...
...monday, 1 january: Warney's not returning my texts. Must still be out with K.P. Or maybe he's heard there's been more books written about Mark Latham than him. The boys from Liverpool Rugby Club are going out to the S.C.G. After being dropped, my heart isn't in it: feelings of betrayal and disappointment. I can't change a system that's sick. Steve Waugh came out and said Australia could win without me. Well, who got us back in the series? Tugger was dead to me after he said that. He's from Bankstown. Votes Liberal...
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