Word: weiners
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...because of population density, the presence of important infrastructure and credible threats--which is to say, because of risk. The roster of cities--New York, Washington, Los Angeles, Seattle, Chicago, San Francisco and Houston--matched up perfectly with AIR's list of most at-risk cities. Democratic Congressman Anthony Weiner of New York, which received 25% of the new grant, says, "I was thinking, finally it seems we have a program based on merit, and clearly not based on politics--because a lot of these cities are not exactly Republican bastions...
They booked sessions with Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting and The Sex-Starved Marriage, who practices in Woodstock, Ill., outside Chicago. While many marriage therapies last months or years, Weiner-Davis says, her patients were usually out in half a dozen visits. Her technique favors action, not introspection...
...Traditional approaches ask people to look at the past and figure out why they're stuck," says Weiner-Davis, whose graduate degree is in social work. "But that insight generally leads people only to be experts in why they're having a problem--and novices in what to do about it. People on the brink of divorce do not have the luxury of time to take this journey backward. They need an instant injection of hope." Weiner-Davis encourages a dose of what she calls "real giving"--asking couples to realize what their partner needs in certain situations and provide...
...Weiner-Davis' action-oriented scheme suited Roth and Meredith. "It's really freeing to just focus on the solution and clear out all the muck," says Meredith. Weiner-Davis encourages couples to identify what they want the marriage to look like, then list actions they can take--dinner out once a week, playing tennis or golf together, help with the housework--to achieve those goals. "The concept of real giving is so simple, but it really gets at the heart of how to make a relationship work," says Meredith...
...Some of Weiner-Davis' recipes earn hoots from others in the fractious fraternity of couples therapists. Of her advice that troubled couples should "just do it!"--have sex to jump-start a passionless marriage--Schnarch retorts, "Telling low-desire spouses to just do something just pisses them off. Most couples seeking help are angry, and angry sex isn't very generous. These people would rather poke each other's eyes out than stroke each other's genitals...