Word: whackers
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...phenomenon of "recombinant DNA," according to strict guidelines imposed by both Mayor Alfred E. Vellucci's "citizen's gang of 400," and the National Institutes of Health. This was a good thing, I figured, but I didn't realize just how good it was until I telephoned my friend Whacker up at North Central State. Whacker, you see, claims to have been doing this kind of research for years, "in a little p-3 facility I built in my spare time out in my garage using plans pirated from an unpublished 1956 issue of 'Popular Gene Mechanics...
...went out to Whacker's house the other day to discuss the implications--and the potential beneficial effects--of the forthcoming research with him. I was greeted at the gate to his palatial home by a dog which, somewhat surprisingly, spoke seven languages and, after he showed me to the front door, challenged me to a game of whist...
...Whacker looked excited. "Come on down to the basement!" he yelled, flailing his arms about wildly. "If I don't get a Nobel for this, then those people aren't worth a soggy pouch of Borkum Riff...
...Look over here in this corner!" commanded Whacker. I looked, but the sight that confronted me didn't register for a couple of minutes. I was dumbfounded. It was Mayor Vellucci--at least it looked like Mayor Vellucci--but it spoke in the voice of George Wald. It was giving what appeared to be a lecture on Death. That's how I knew...
Harvard's unsung but valiant varsity water polo team, boasting an impressive seven-and-one record, will head to the Eastern AAU championships this weekend at the Paul J. Whacker Tournament in New York...