Word: whaled
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...locals) take to a 26-mile, 385-yard course from Hopkinton to the Boston Public Library and think about nothing but sex and water for two to five hours, while the rest of us cheer them on and feel about as good about our own physical conditions as whale caca on the bottom of the Dead Sea. Neil is going to be one of the twenty or thirty Harvard students joining the active masses tomorrow, and he is feeling the full force of our resentment...
Harvard Commencement and Class Day speakers have had their problems. Shevardnadze was a socialist, Brundtland was a whale-killer, and Powell was seen as anti-gay. All, on the other hand, had redeeming qualities that made them worth honoring with speaking roles at Commencement...
Great literature often concerns self-discovery through encounter with the Other. In Heart of Darkness, Marlow meets Colonel Kurtz and realizes that a thin line separates the values of civilization and insanity. In Moby-Dick,this guy's chasing around a big whale, but the whale is really a part of him, or at least that's what my Cliffs Notes say. In the Famed "street person episode" of "Diff'rent Strokes," Arnold encounters an epileptic homeless mime, and learns that deep inside, we all have motor co-ordination problems. All of these characters learn and grow through their brush...
...They're always giving you the wrong signals." Day 2. Girls, shmirls. Who needs 'em? I decided my next encounter with the Other should be wholesome and asexual. The Unofficial Guide to Life at Harvard describes the Outing Club as "dedicated to outdoor fun and adventure." Just like that whale in Moby-Dick. I head over to club headquarters to pick up a 'dopesheet' describing upcoming outing opportunities. One of the trips listed is a "multi-day ski-backpack-camping trip to Mt. Bond in the Whites." Mount Bond in the Whites. I liked the ring of that. It sounded...
...came flooding back to me, such as the time Yasser Arafat crashed my Bar Mitzvah, and the time I tried to sue my parents to return my foreskin. So much for my epiphany. I had met the Other, and he was me. At least Ahab got to fight a whale...