Word: whoopi
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...this film made me excited to see The Net. I was expecting another Jumping Jack Flash, but I figured the new film would use better technology and have a smarter heroine. Plus, let's face it, watching Sandra Bullock for two hours is a bit more exciting than watching Whoopi Goldberg. Unfortunately, despite Sandra Bullock, The Net did not come close to equaling Jumping Jack Flash...
...magazine listed high school dropouts who have struck it rich in Hollywood, including Keanu Reeves and 1993 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year Whoopi Goldberg...
...most popular movie during the time I spent at the theater was "Sister Act," starring Whoopi Goldberg. Every showing was packed. We were also showing "Howards End," which wasn't doing very good business. I did my part for high culture and the indie film industry by persuading some customers to abandon "Far and Away" or "Sister Act," and watch "Howards End" instead. I told the customers that Emma Thompson was certain to win the Oscar for her performance. Such prescience I had! Nominations, after all, were a little less than a year away...
...sociological induction, done while sweeping the theaters, revealed that people who went to see arty movies like "Howards End" did not litter, while those who reveled in Whoopi's antics and Tom's neurasthenic smiles behaved as if the theater were their private sty. Someone once forgot a walker after a showing of "Sister Act"--old ladies adored the movie, and would come out exclaiming, "Oh, that Whoopi is so funny!" We also found several used diapers. After a showing of "Thunderheart," in which Val Kilmer (!) stars as a half-Indian detective who returns to the reservation to solve...
...begin a proper investigation, I received a call from Switzerland telling me that I had the job. Despite the fact that I'd already joined the union of movie theater employees and was well on my way to winning employee of the month, I said goodbye to Gina and Whoopi and flew to Geneva. And while my two weeks at the cinema may not have been Paradiso, it wan't a half-bad Purgatorio, with real butter...