Word: wino
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...Hamster in the microwave oven. O.K.? Pop goes the weasel!" Other bit players include Ernest Sincere, a redneck used-car dealer; Joey Stalin, a Russian stand-up comic; Little Sherman, a perverse little boy; and Walt Buzzy, a gay director. Grandpa Funk, based on an old wino Williams once saw in San Francisco, always appears at the end of the show. Clicking his gums and speaking in a raspy high-pitched voice, the old codger explains he used to be a stand-up comedian with a television series about an alien ?"of course that was before the real aliens...
...late-morning sun in front of the local rip-off tavern--the one that raises its prices twice a month, on the days when the welfare checks arrive in the mail--and watching with a sort of morbid curiosity as a crew of teenagers begins harassing a crippled wino as he staggers his way into the local pawn shop to barter away his past for a pint of skull-buster. How the other half lives, and all that, and you turn back to your newspaper. But then you realize that it's not what's outside the station that...
Last but not least are two different winos I've known. The first one, an elderly gent, insisted on singing every Ray Charles song he knew at the top of his lungs--and off key. Clutching his muscatel for dear life, he fought off three conductors and a plain-clothes cop until the train reached the next station, whereupon wino and muscatel went flying out the door. The other wino was the more genteel type--and she kept me company from D.C. to New York last Christmas. She was a sweet old Southern lady--74 years old, she kept telling...
Physically, he is short and squat, with a balding round head and a Marcel Marceau repertoire of facial expressions. The style of dress can best be described as drab middle-class--co-captain Bill Omeltchenko thought he was a wino off the streets when he saw Carril scouting one of his high school games...
Vietnamization. Rick Byers, 28, is a supersalesman who stumbled into real estate. He makes it all sound simple: "All there is to real estate is running your mouth a bit, knocking on doors and asking people if they want to sell their house. I could take any wino off Fifth and Main and make him a millionaire salesman." By running, knocking, asking and recruiting, Byers has acquired more than $5 million worth of property in Southern California's Orange County, which boasts some of the nation's highest-priced real estate...