Word: wiper
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...source of the Budget leak which enabled sure-thing gamblers to bilk British insurance firms of over half a million dollars (TIME, May 25). On the evening that lean, bespectacled Mr. Justice Porter & associates wound up their investigation of this breach of Cabinet confidence, Cockney Jim Thomas, onetime locomotive wiper who became the friend of kings, sat down and wrote as follows...
Pudgy Jim Thomas started his career as an errand boy in a chemist's shop, became a wiper in a locomotive yard, later helped organize the railwaymen's union. It was Jim Thomas who made it possible for British railway employes to have the highest wage scale of any union in the realm. With James Ramsay MacDonald and Philip Snowden, Thomas was one of the founders of the British Labor Party. In the House of Commons since 1910, he has served as a Cabinet Minister for the past seven years...
...perhaps, is a time-saving device that automatically feeds workers while they work. It is tried out on Charlie, and it runs amuck. It rasps an ear of corn against his teeth, it shoves bolts into his mouth, and it bashes in his face with its automatic wiper. But this choice is just a matter of opinion, and besides, clumsy word accounts fall hopelessly short of Chaplin's elusive mirth. Drop whatever you're doing, and go see for yourself...
...President, failed to see the lowered gates and red lanterns at an East Boston railroad crossing. Splintering through the gates, John, at the wheel, swerved just in time to wedge his Plymouth coupe between a speeding train and a gate post. While moppets fought for the horn, headlights, windshield wiper of the wrecked car, Brothers John & James pronounced themselves unhurt. Next day Massachusetts' Registrar of Motor Vehicles Frank A. Goodwin exonerated Brother John...
...sales tax tokens, proceeded to roll the ivories and completely demoralize traffic. Elmers capered about in diapers, smocks, underwear and funny faces blowing bugles, shooting blank pistols, tooting whistles, ringing bells, hooting sirens, beating tin cans. Prime trick was to stop a motorist, "inspect" his brakes, lights, horn, windshield wiper, then lift his hood and close the petcock on his gas line so that when released he would proceed only a few yards before the car stopped for good. Saloons ran all night long, bartenders were far too busy to prepare anything more complicated than rye-&-ginger ale. Most widespread...