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...most popular options are getting blackout and trying to hook up with busted girls and butter-bodies (see Bell Lap 1), or joining student groups that celebrate every stereotype you spent your high-school years trying to avoid (see every minority group on campus). No matter how much wisdom butter Harvard students rub on themselves, social interactions will be as insufficiently lubricated as the awkward snakebite-style handjobs you and your roommate exchanged last night. There’s a good solution to this, but Stillman Infirmary limits “vacations” to a week in length...

Author: By Peter J. Martinez and D. A. Wallach, CONTRIBUTING WRITERSS | Title: Bell Lap 2: Quad? Whatev, They All Suck | 3/21/2007 | See Source »

Conventional wisdom might ask: After being the class of the conference the past three season, why wouldn’t Penn be the favorite to win again? Three reasons—Steve Danley, Ibrahim Jaaber, and Mark Zoller. All three were starters on the past three league champions, the latter duo emerging as the top two players in the Ivies this past season. Unfortunately for the Quakers—but fortunately for everyone else in the league—those three have played their final basketball games in Penn uniforms...

Author: By Ted Kirby, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: KIRBY'S DREAMLAND: ’08 Ivy Race Could Be Historic | 3/21/2007 | See Source »

...seasoned veteran of this most august of institutions, I have one little pearl of wisdom for the Class of 2010. As you sport your hilarious, phallic house t-shirts for the first and probably last time this morning, just remember that a House is more than a neo-penal slab of ugly concrete all the way down the southeast side of the river (Well, let’s at least hope...

Author: By David L. Golding, Jillian J. Goodman, Emma M. Lind, Kyle L. K. Mcauley, and Nathaniel S. Rakich | Title: Playing House | 3/21/2007 | See Source »

...However, the political rule book has been stuffed into a shredder this year. Come summer of 2008, one or both parties will likely fire it from a confetti gun. A million fluttery pieces of conventional wisdom will swirl around a nominee or nominees once thought to be impossible: a woman, a black man, a guy in his 70s, a Mormon, a Hispanic, a Baptist preacher who used to be 100 lbs. overweight. Who knows? This is the year to bet on something unusual happening, and few things in politics are more unusual than Rudolph Giuliani - "America's mayor," the rock...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Why Is Rudy Smiling? | 3/21/2007 | See Source »

...have contacted me,” he said. “[They say] ‘You’re one of the few people who have been able to explain intelligence in a way that’s real.’” He also offered wisdom to Harvard students from his time as a spy. “There is a secret war going beneath the surface in politics,” he said. “I think they should teach a class in covert political operations so that people could see what?...

Author: By Jeremy D. Hoon, CONTRIBUTING WRITER | Title: Spy Speaks on Life Experience | 3/20/2007 | See Source »

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