Word: womanizes
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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Frances Lear is on a roll. Her high-risk venture of creating a magazine for mature women is a splashy success. Just four years ago, with $30 million from her $112 million divorce settlement from television producer Norman Lear, she conceived Lear's, a bimonthly publication catering to "The Woman Who Wasn't Born Yesterday." This past March, with a photograph of Lear gracing the anniversary issue, Lear's went monthly, with a circulation of 350,000. The average age of her readers is 51, the average yearly household income a startling $95,600. New issues are fat with glossy...
...refracted by lemony candlelight, Lear presided over dinner for twelve served by a squadron of waiters. Playing impresario, she deftly focused scattershot conversations into one group topic, spawning debates over the reasons matte eye-shadow sales are soaring (one theory: softens the wrinkles) and whether there will be a woman President -- "Not in my lifetime," insists Lear. Quick and sharp- witted, she suffers fools not at all and snubs sycophants with an icy glance. But when she is surrounded by sympathetic friends, her conversation expands. She defends her obvious vanity: "This quality continues into old age and drives the desire...
...hair salon. Her icky beau Dr. Ted (Charles Rocket) hasn't made love -- to her, anyway -- in two weeks! "At the rate we're having sex," she pouts becomingly, "we may as well be married already." She has discovered Ted in a compromising costume with another woman and responded by trashing their condo: microwaving his football, toasting his funny cigarettes in the VCR, dropping his gold watch in the Disposall. And now, she notes, "there's a giant blow-dryer in my pool." Well, a UFO actually, with three horny, color-coordinated aliens (Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayans) itching...
...sports the autograph is fundamentally a province of baseball, though all athletes are besieged in some measure. Football players who are able to write their name often do so. "I won't sign anything flimsy," says golfer Lee Trevino, who recalls autographing a $5 bill once for a persistent woman in a restaurant. " 'I'll treasure it forever,' she told me. Of course, I got it back from the cashier in my change." The only autograph basketball's Tom Van Arsdale ever solicited was from an Indiana high school kid, Oscar Robertson, when Van Arsdale was even younger...
...years ago. But the shock, for a radio fan leafing through this collection, is to discover, perhaps not for the first or fifth time, that his hero is even more gifted as writer than as entertainer. In a superb story called What Did We Do Wrong?, the first woman major-league baseball player hits .300 but slobbers tobacco juice, gives fans the finger and can't deal with the hot-breathed lunacy of a nation's love. In Meeting Famous People, a country-music star is hunted down and sued, then jailed and beaten after he $ refuses...