Word: won
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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...aspiring freshmen musicians, who will sidle up to you while you're waiting to try out and just happen to mention that they've played as the visiting soloist for the Cleveland Symphony, or studied with Jean-Pierre Rampal. Don't let them psych you out--they probably won't get in either...
Your proctor won't have much beer this year, but he'll have plenty of platitudes. These meetings can be very weird. Everyone's usually trying to make a good impression, and if excess amiability makes you want to puke, I suggest you bring a vomit bag. You'll be asked to stand up and introduce yourself, just like when you first started school, 14 years ago. Only now you might say, "I'm Hank from Pittsburgh and I wanna get laid." That's always good for a laugh. If you want to make things interesting, tell them...
...first thing you'll realize when you arrive at Harvard Yard is that nobody will ask you what college you're going to, and you won't get terribly far dropping the name. Put away your Harvard tee-shirt, because it ain't chic here, it's overkill...
...race is on. You get your second wind by the third flight--the others are falling behind. You burst through the appointed door, an easy first. Relax, you tell yourself, you roommates probably won't even show til tomorrow. Smooth sailing...
...wrote my will. Left everything to my little brother, and told him not to be so stupid. Mother was right. These drugs were kicking in my brains, and they had won. All those queer movies, they must have been right. I was dying. I looked out the window and saw that it was night. When I looked again, it was day. I called the phone company, and they said it was day. Then I looked a little closer and noticed a construction crew working out on the street. With mean jackhammers and hard, old faces, they penetrated concrete and dredged...