Word: wondering
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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...what shall we call this wonder that would make Brezhnev and company envious? How about the Great Wall of Democracy or the Great Wall of "Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor...
...MODERNIZATIONS! The four: industry, agriculture, science and technology, and national defense. The goals that the Peking leadership has set for China are truly herculean-perhaps too much so for a country that is still recovering from the shocks and turmoils of Mao's last years. Thus many Sinologists wonder whether the ambitions of Teng and his pragmatic followers may not eventually prove to be as chimerical as those of Mao's 1958 Great Leap Forward, when peasants were urged to smelt iron and steel in backyard furnaces. Among the problems that modernization faces...
Some China watchers wonder how the country, even with generous infusions of foreign credit, can hope to achieve the four modernizations simultaneously. Sooner or later, the experts believe, the Peking leadership will have to set some tough priorities, which inevitably means disappointing some claimants to the country's limited resources and risking an angry backlash. Beyond that, Teng and his cohort face a psychological problem in inspiring the masses. Having suffered through years of polemical warfare, many workers have become cynical about the system and are immune to exhortations and slogans. Middle-level officials, on whom Teng counts...
Even at that point it was hard not to stop, give up and wait for Johnnie and the others. The trail, with 10 miles to go beyond the pass and the pass not even in sight, looked hopelessly endless...I started to wonder about hypothermia (when your body can no longer generate enough heat to maintain body temperature; as heat drains, so does strength and eventually consciousness.) Every few steps I would run through the symptoms and tell myself that, so far, I was fine. My mind's ability to stifle fear and panic came into play...
...still hard not to wonder why it happened the way it did--why I lived and they died, why I didn't lose my fingers or toes, why I survived unscathed. I'm not sure I don't want to believe there is a meaning behind it all, but questioning what that meaning is can be dangerous. It is frighteningly easy to see how people can come to believe they have a mission in life or are chosen. It is something I have to fight, because I didn't gain what the two men lost...