Word: wongã
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Dates: during 2001-2001
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It’s 2 a.m. and the General Wong??€™s that Joe Harvard Student had for dinner some nine hours earlier seems like little more than a bad memory. Joe is starving, but with the Grille gone, Grafton evicted, and Tommy’s shut down for the evening, where can he go to get a decent after-hours bite to eat? As Joe wonders around the Square he becomes increasingly desperate; the nacho cheese hot dog rolls at 7-11 are beginning to look appealing. As his search for sustanence continues, Joe notices a bright blue...
...progress until we developed a culture of the game Assassin, only for real! Why bother knocking off your House comrades when you can go after that annoying sniveler who’s right above you in the rankings? Extra points for orchestrating a particularly clever demise. Arsenic in General Wong??€™s? A quick push down the Science Center stairs? Harvard would be helping us hone that killer instinct...
...FOOD: Sure, Harvard students may suffer from an abundance of General Wong??€™s chicken, but at least we have 13 places around campus to get a free meal at all times of the day. Penn students—I’m not making this up—primarly get their sustinence from cheesesteaks and Chinese dishes bought from street vendors. You ever try egg rolls dipped in hot dog water...
...quick points for starters: no more General Wong??€™s chicken, for reasons that should be self-evident. Honey mustard sauce should be given a permanent home next to ketchup and other condiments. Cheese nachos are simply a necessity, and must be provided more often. And the frequent absence from the cereal bar of one of the four basic food groups, Lucky Charms, is particularly troubling...
...tuition includes provides a new perspective on the Harvard dining debacle. I may have anything I want for dinner, but just because I’m cooking what I desire doesn’t mean it’s any good. So come September, appreciate the already-hot General Wong??€™s Chicken when you come to the dining hall starving because you’ve had a five-hour lab or tutorial through lunch. The HDS meal we make an art of despising may really be disgusting, but at least it’s ready...