Word: woolworth
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...these other knee-high, submongoloid, blankety-blank satrapies. But only in America. Subway to Freedom. Inventor of Intelligence. Home of Thomas Edison, Rutherford Hays, Popeye The Sailor Manson, Telly Sevalis, Gene Kelly, Huey Long, Richard Ward Day, George C. Patton, James Joyce, Martin Kilson, Endicott Peabody, F.W. Woolworth, and Paul Revere, just to name...
...hope someone will buy them something-anything-even from Woolworth. It will look better on them than these discards from the Salvation Army...
...ecology? A Chicago company sells 300 designs printed on recycled paper. Got expensive tastes? Bloomingdale's in New York City offered a reproduction of Renoir's Le Moulin de la Galette at $183 for a box of 100. (It was sold out by October.) Cheap tastes? Any Woolworth's still sells boxes of 25 cards for $1.50. No taste whatsoever? There are X-rated Christmas cards bearing such legends as "The least you could do is give me an obscene phone call" and "Fondle me with care"-to cite two that are printable. Says Norman Dreitel, sales...
...come to the real event of the weekend: Halloween. Woolworth's is full of candy corn, toffee apples and plastic masks, although sources say the Woolworth's in the Square is one of the most expensive ones. On the other hand, Woolworth's was always the place to go when you were little and couldn't think of a costume, so if you're stuck for something to wear you can get a superman/woman suit. Pumpkins are cheaper the farther away from the Square you get, so try Haymarket...
There is, for instance, the 16,000.83-carat "Vulgari Emerald." In no way connected with famed Bulgari diamond merchants, of course, the Vulgari is surrounded by "diamonds and pearls. . . except for the third pearl from the left, which is courtesy of Woolworth's." Other gems are the " 'La Fabiola' Faerie Diamond," the "Royal Order of the Corset" rubies, and the social climber's special-an outsized pendant dubbed "The Fitz-Hall" ("and it does"), featuring France's Regent diamond, now barricaded in the Louvre...