Word: workouts
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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With winter barely over, wannabe hardbodies around campus are racing to lose those midnight-munchie pounds. But like most workout endeavors, a trip to the MAC hardly satisfies this desire for immediate gratification. During "peak" times (7 a.m. to 3 p.m. and 3:15 p.m. to 11 p.m. weekdays and 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. weekends), one can expect to wait half an hour for any given piece of butt-blasting equipment...
...veterans recognize the futility of sign up sheets in reserving the coveted machines. The successful workout warrior eyes the prospects, stakes out his or her territory, then plies the line-waiting trade with the cunning born of years of experience...
...More anxious types pace back and forth behind their target treadmill, conspicuously checking the user's workout time. Exercisers respond to these pesky onlookers in a variety of ways. Some smile and acknowledge their presence, while most covertly shield the time window with a sweatshirt or book. Yet another blatantly restarts her machine when she reaches the limit...
...Comparing one's progress to his neighbor's provides essential workout motivation. The selection of a competitor involves several considerations such as age, weight, athleticism and whether or not his or her workout stats are visible in a mirror reflection. If not, people inevitably stare at the brunette with the long ponytail for inspiration. It's okay because she wants people to stare at her. That's why she wore the bikini top and booty shorts...
...workout winds down, hard-core runners proudly wipe the sweat pouring from their brows. If the user has perspired onto the machine, or simply touched the buttons, he hurries to find the antiseptic and paper towels for cleaning purposes. The prospective treadmill recipient sometimes waives this unspoken rule, but only because he prefers to sterilize the machine himself...