Word: wurst
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...wait. Wasn't most of the chow sizzling over campfires Wurst instead of baked beans? And as for the hard stuff being downed in the saloon, wasn't it Steffens Pils and Schnaps instead of redeye? And those redskins turning a little too red in the 90° heat, weren't they powwowing in German? The answer, indeed, was ja. The scene was the long Whitsunday weekend in Bocklemünd near Cologne, where 2,500 members of West Germany's Western Bund gathered in a meadow to dress up as cowboys, Indians and Civil...
...Suleyman, hang about the local taverns. Their women, heads modestly covered with kerchiefs, are dressed in billowing pantaloons and long topcoats, even on hot summer days. Streets have informally been given Turkish names, and the shops purvey flat pita bread, mutton, sheep cheese and garlic instead of the Wurst, Bauernbrot (dark bread), veal and pigs' knuckles familiar in stores that serve a German clientele...
...manufacturers have bothered to read the entrails. For despite the tocsins from Washington, despite intruders from overseas, the maligned frank furter has proved as irresistible in 1972 as it was in 1914 to a boy named Penrod. The hero of Booth Tarkington's Huckleberry novels thought the "winny-wurst" was "all nectar and ambrosia. ..it was rigidly forbidden by the home authorities." Like Penrod, contemporary Americans tend to ignore authorities; they consume 15 billion hot dogs every year - possibly even because of the warnings. Forbidden fruit tastes delicious; why not proscribed wieners...
...which, despite the chain's name, is ersatz Tyrolean rather than Viennese. Each unit combines such decorations as gingham curtains, fake wooden beams, simulated carriage lamps, leatherette settees and plastic flowers. The menu has remained basically fowl, emphasizing chicken in several forms, with a few excursions into wurst and schnitzel. The birds are heavily laced with salt and paprika, which tends to give customers a powerful thirst. Jahn's cash registers thus tinkle along with sales of wine and beer...
...with green sawdust and the cramped cooking area is about as immaculate. Elsie's is uncomfortable. When there are more than about nine people, you have to eat standing up. But Elsie's has good food at low prices. Spectacular food. Creme cheese and caviar sandwiches. Chopped liver. Beer Wurst. Knackwurst, Bratwurst. Wurst Salad. Just plain Wurst. Knackwurst, Bavarian oxtail soup. Danish Cakes. Cheese cake. The fast, efficient members of the counter gang have the dedicated air of European innkeepers. People who patronize Elsie's are serious about eating and only the uncouth order hamburgers. They like Cossack hats...