Word: xin
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...That's the Shaolin temple that yan Ming escaped from in 1992: pious about profits but spiritually bankrupt. While Yong Xin is bent on shellacking Shaolin into tidy anachronism, Yan Ming wants to punch up its traditions?and himself?to suit the realities of 21st century New York City. He openly eschews the usual trappings of Buddhist piety: he eats beef (which he has dubbed "American tofu"), drinks beer ("special water"), wine ("French special water") and, whenever possible, champagne ("very special French water"). He lives with his girlfriend and their 19-month-old son. He models. He acts in movies...
...Yong Xin, the temple's current abbot, downplays Shaolin's quirky philosophical traditions?an understandable tactic given Beijing's harsh stance on spiritual cults?emphasizing instead the need to preserve "unique artifacts of China's history for future generations." Yong Xin clearly has his eye on the value of the franchise. He wants Shaolin to be named a UNESCO World Heritage Site, and he has restored many of its monuments, including a stela that dates to the early Tang dynasty, a pagoda-style bell tower and the Talin, or Stupa Forest, an aptly named field of richly inscribed monks' tombs...
...This is nothing new for Shaolin?the macho fighting monks were flouting dietary laws as early as the Ming dynasty, but abbot Yong Xin, anxious about Shaolin's newly pristine image, finds his prodigal brother's behavior poisonous. "The man openly eats meat and drinks," he gasps. Even in the U.S., kung fu aficionados?many of whom themselves know Shaolin only from the movies?believe Yan Ming is too much the joker. Martial arts websites abound with references to the "fake monk." But Yan Ming isn't fazed. "To be a monk you have to know how to be yourself...
...undies called THUNDERWEAR for those who like their firearms up close and personal. Just tuck your gun into the secret pocket. (You can choose from various pocket sizes depending on whether you're slinging a .44 magnum or a mere "Saturday-night special.") In China, meanwhile, inventor Zhao Xin attempted suicide because of the failure of CHASTITY UNDERWEAR, which guarantees fidelity through a built-in combination lock. Zhao never got a patent approved, and perhaps it's just as well. Honey, I forgot the combination...
...Strong Man Bao: "Fights recurring back aches, depression, degeneration and impotency." Chinese Dragon Tonic: "Battles impotence, lassitude, amnesia and cold pain of the waist and knees." And, finally, Sinphar Supra Softgels: "Make yourself powerful during active sex!" After a few moments I opted for the "fast-acting" Nan Shi Xin Bao spray, a local anaesthetic to prolong coitus, and the high, focused promise of the Sinphar Supra Softgels. I started to explain to the attractive woman at the counter that I was a journalist writing a story, but I broke off in mid-sentence. She looked...