Word: y2k
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...remain perennially susceptible to New Year's Eve's specious allure, annually convinced that next year's shebang may somehow be different. And when it comes to the pathos of impossible expectations, there's never been anything like this: New Year's Eve Y2K. The millennium, baby! The expectations for this year's gala are pathologically high. An apocalyptically giddy time is expected to be had. We seem to be demanding nothing less than a cosmic collision of the dimensional trajectories of time and space in which, for one amazing instant, the entire universe becomes an unimaginably immense T.G.I. Friday...
Some of the more rococo NYE-Y2K fetes I've seen advertised suggest a collaborative extravaganza mounted by Donald Trump and Emperor Bokassa...
There are signs, though, that the occasion may be collapsing, or at least sagging, under the weight of its own hyperbole. Many of New York City's trendiest eateries have decided to opt out entirely. Gramercy Tavern, Balthazar, Vong and Tabla, for instance, will all close for NYE-Y2K. And according to a poll conducted by National Family Opinion Research, a majority of Americans are planning to spend this New Year's Eve with their family at home...
...maybe just sitting home and watching TV isn't such a bad idea. Perhaps we should leave this NYE-Y2K to panels of reveling pundits discussing whether they're having fun yet. Or how about tuning in to some Extreme Reveling? Jon Krakauer Presents: America's Most Dangerous Galas. Experience, from the safety of your own La-Z-Boy, just how dangerous an unfurled noisemaker can be in a violent windstorm at 75[degrees] below zero...
...somewhere in the ballpark of viability, get a C-section. It shows a hell of a lot of moxie to be lying split open on an operating table on a night when the hospital's monitoring equipment will probably shut down thanks to the Y2K computer crash, while you're at the mercy of a skeleton crew of probationary interns who are so low in the hospital pecking order that they're working the millennial New Year's Eve shift...