Word: yaleã
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This year, Harvard’s early pool bounced back with a 7.2 percent increase in applications. Yale??s pool dipped slightly, by 3 percent.Repeated inquiries at Yale??s admission office were not returned. Prospective Elis will receive their decisions online this Thursday...
...we’re told a kennel of Yale students pulled off a massive stunt at The Game, tricking two thousand Crimson fans into holding up construction paper spelling out “WE SUCK.” Yale??s student newspaper reported the hoax Monday, and the pranksters put up a website (www.harvardsucks.org) complete with video documentation and posters for sale (way to sell out, fascists...
Indeed, with Harvard’s bumper crop of plaudits rolling in, it seems Yale??s status as a safety school for kids who didn’t have the scores, the grades or the clean arrest record to get into Harvard is becoming even more obvious. The Times Higher Education Supplement just ranked Harvard the best university in the world. Continuing to sow the seeds of mediocrity, Yale scored, you know, a respectable eighth. Even Stanford, famous for resembling the world’s biggest Taco Bell, managed to score higher...
...argue with the methods of the survey all you want. But Yale??s incompetent academic flailing of late is universally imminent—like a pantheistic god, just one that sucks. Every fiber of the Yale??s physical and metaphysical existence is tinted with the fluctuating incandescent glow of never quite being good enough...
...Staff, however, would not be responsible if it did not offer a solution to Yale??s woes. A backwards, tribal excess, Yale cannot be allowed to muddy the pristine waters of American academia any longer. That is why the Yale Corporation should make the prudent business move in our increasingly globalized world and outsource sucking. Set up a Yale in Malaysia, pay your professors in grams of lint and watch the profit margins soar. Yale might even be able to compete with Harvard’s endowment, but only if it could teach its “students?...